


my mother and my brothers used to breathe in clean air (and dreaming i'm a doctor)

by Thakh_Gaii



Series: lost in a dream i had when i was young (no, i never woke up from it) [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Gay Pride, Gen, In which Albus and Lily confront their mistakes, Pansexual Character, Queerplatonic Relationships, Referenced Queerplatonic Relationships, Sibling Bonding, and show themselves as very very gay, jeweller Lily Luna Potter, pride knitting, that's a tag now yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26989438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thakh_Gaii/pseuds/Thakh_Gaii
Summary: Lily and Albus have a talk, and what comes after. Everyone is very gay, and jewellery is cool.
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter & James Sirius Potter & Lily Luna Potter, Albus Severus Potter & Lily Luna Potter
Series: lost in a dream i had when i was young (no, i never woke up from it) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942549
Kudos: 9





	my mother and my brothers used to breathe in clean air (and dreaming i'm a doctor)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Head Over Heels by Digital Daggers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0oEka9O4CQ)

“Hey, Lils.”

Albus walks into the room, ands fiddling with his quill. He’s made his way into the Gryffindor Common Room tonight, and he was hoping to actually speak with his sister instead of semi-agreeably cohabiting the same ten metres of space, which was becoming their norm.

Besides, James was gone now, and Lily’s the only sibling left, and he wants to know her better.

“Hey, Al.” replies Lily, not looking up from the Charms essay that she’s working on. Cold.

“Uhh, how’re you doing? That essay looks good.” He’s really reaching, and it shows. Albus and Lily haven’t had any genuine conversations since the hell that was summer after fourth year. He doesn’t know if Lily still likes fluttery glittery things, or if she’s moved on from that. He doesn’t know why she’s taken to wearing the pan flag on everything she owns. He doesn’t know, but he wants to.

Besides, Scorp would kill him if he didn’t take action on _some_ familial relationship.

“ Yeah, I guess. We’re learning about silencing charms. I’m going to use it on James the next time he tries running his mouth on his goddamn _card games_.”

“That’s a good reason to use it. He’s cool, but he and Nimah put together are the nerdiest couple of buggers out there.” Lily looks up, making eye contact for the first time. Her eyes are brown, the colour of the chocolate frog he was eating this morning.

“I thought James and Nimah were just friends? Are they going out? You talk about them like they’re going out.” And yeah, he does. But they are partners, so maybe it’s warranted?

“Uh, no, they’re not dating. Nimah’s aro and James is gayce. They are really close though, like me and Scorp. They live together, actually.” Lily’s eyes flash in a kind of understanding, and then look down, downcast. Albus decides that he doesn’t like that look on his otherwise happy sister.

“I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t think you would. You don’t really ask.” And his sister looks up now, angry eyed, like Mum.

“And why _would_ I? It’s like you and James and Teddy have made your own little mini-family, and- and you don’t let the rest of us in! You all stay away from family gatherings, and for Dumbledore’s sake, James is in a _Muggle University_ in _America_!”

Al flinches back, feet knocking the legs of the chair he sat on, looking up at his sister, who’s clenched her fist in anger.  
“And Teddy's there too and I’ve seen your forms, Al, I know that you’re planning to go there with Scorp too to study Magizoology and leave us behind and split this family apart!” She’s pointing her finger at him now, and Albus is sure that if there were other people here right now, then all heads in the room would be looking at them, wondering what the hell was going on. And the problem is, Lily’s right. He realises it just now, but yeah, He, James and Teddy have pretty much drifted off to do their own thing. But he knows why.

“Why do you think we did, then?” He asks, and Lily freezes.

“What?”

“Why do you think we would drift off the way we are?”

She looks stricken, like it’s something she knows the answer to, but can’t admit to it (Or doesn’t want to).

No matter. Albus’ll do it for her.

“How do you think it felt, Lils, for James to have to pretend to be someone else entirely to be accepted by everyone? How do you think it felt for my worst nightmares to come true, and them have my only friend looked down upon because of where he was born? How do you think it felt for Teddy to know that no matter what he did, the fact that his Dad’s a werewolf would follow him no matter where he went?”

Lily’s stepping back, clenched fist shaking.

“How do you think it felt to be ignored, or looked down upon, because of who we are, or because of things we can’t control? It-It’s easy for you, Lily. You’ve been good at hamming up for the makers, at being perfect. It almost _killed_ James. It literally destroyed us. Why wouldn’t we want to be gone the second we learned it was an option? Wouldn’t you?” 

“No, no I wouldn’t. What about Mum and Dad? How would they feel?”

“They’ve hurt us too! Dad saying James is just like Grandpa and Mum, till he felt like that was all he could be. Dad hurt me too, with all the Slytherin bullshit and the expectations. And _yes_ , we’re working on it, but fact is, that’s more than a decade of hurt, Lils!Dad hurt Teddy by trying to use him as a bargaining chip for Lupin to return to the Wizarding World. Maybe we’ve mostly forgiven each other, but hurt is hurt, and you can’t expect me to pretend it never happened. I’m a _Slytherin _, my revenge streak is miles long. Honestly, so is Scorp’s.”__

__“So what, Al? You’re going to be selfish and stupid and leave the rest of us behind?” Lily asks, fist rattling, looking him in the eye, burning with a kind of fury only Albus’s sister can have._ _

__“It’s not like you wanted me around anyway.” He says, and Lily stills, fist dropping, eyes losing any and all trace of rage with a kind of _snap_ that Albus is sure that he can hear, no matter how impossible that is. But this has been plaguing his non-Delphi-related dreams since that summer, and he may as well air it out to dry now._ _

__“Didn’t you say I was too weird to hang out with?” And Lily looks at him again, eyes watering, index finger tracing the tear rolling down his cheek because huh, he’s crying apparently._ _

__“I didn’t mean it, Al, I didn’t. I was so scared. You were fighting with Dad and then you were gone an-and then you come back and you w-wake up screaming all the time like something was chasing you everywhere and I dish’t know what t-to do.” Al’s sister says this crying, tears flowing down freckled cheeks, glistening in the sunlight pouring through the common room window, eyes shining, lip quivering, looking her age for the first time instead of twenty five becasue he’s really left her alone, hasn’t he? Both he and James. They know nothing about her, she knows less about them, and suddenly that gap feels too big to bear and he’s pulling her in, placing her in his lap, while she cries into the arms of his jumper and he’s crying into the back of hers, because they are just kids, right? Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley or no, they’re Al and Lils, resident quiet little buggers in the words of James and Teddy._ _

__He’s whispering in her ear now, through loose strand of red hair free from its braid._ _

__“I’m sorry, Lils. I’m here, I’m here, it’s okay, shush.” Albus repeats it like a mantra, rocking her back and forth like he did when she was five and small and make painting with rainbow finger-paint. Things were simpler then, but who says they can’t still be friends?_ _

__…_ _

__It’s a tentative kind of sibling hood they have, after that. Lily stays with her gal-pals and Albus sticks with Scorp, but now sometimes Lily joins a video call with Nimah, James and the rest of the ‘garbage-fire gang’ as they’ve taken to calling themselves. Fatimah and Lily both seem to have an absurd fascination with walnuts and walnut-flavoured products._ _

__They acknowledge each other’s existences in the hallways, and sometimes sew patches together. Lily says the Pan flags on everything (a reference most wizards don’t get) was her own way of coming out as pan. He and James knit her a pink scarf, a yellow jumper with ‘BREAD’ written in bold black lettering and a pastel blue skirt for Christmas, and Lily, learning Spanish for finishes, laughs out loud in front of the entire Gryffindor house, shattering her image as the poised, perfect one. Lily admits that she doesn’t really care anymore, strutting her new stiff with pride. She gives Albus a rainbow patch and sews it onto his grey jacket, with black and purple highlights, because if she needs to show off her queerness, then why can’t he?_ _

__(Scorpius gets earrings that have hovering stars- pink on the top, then purple, then blue, hanging from an upside-down black pyramid. It’s small, and delicate, and makes a nice quiet ringing sound when he shakes his head and there’s a matching pendant and necklace, and Scorpius runs up to Lily and hugs her tight- in private, obviously- and lets her go, grinning like a maniac.)_ _

__It takes a lot longer, but James gets the ace flag, straight (ha) up and in-your face as a blanket, made by both of them staying up till stupid ‘o clock in the library, and Nimah gets the same thing. The next call is full of excited screeching.)_ _

__…_ _

__When Albus graduates, Lily is there, red hair done up in a magnificent bun, freckles on full display, pan garb on and grinning like an idiot, right up front. He grins idiotically with her, and they simultaneously wave hello enthusiastically to James, who looks at them from behind Nimah (who is very very tall now) and waves just as dumbly, smiling and rolling his eyes._ _

__…_ _

__Lily graduates two years later, with a position ready for her at Hylla’s Jewellers in Diagon Alley, her portfolio proudly displaying the jewellery that she’s made for her sibling over the years, with Fatimah and Teddy’s rings featured prominently. They video chat once a week. It’s honestly quite nice._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are great! Consider writing constructive criticism, things you liked/didn't like, or anything else really? It would really make my day.
> 
> My [Tumblr](https://blue-also-writes-now.tumblr.com)


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